Puar's first cigarette
by kittykupcakes
Summary: This is a crack fic my friend asked me to write for him as practice for my writing skills. Puar is sneaking off and the other's are concerned as to what's going on so Yamcha goes to investigate!


"Puar!" Yamcha called out as he felt shock draining through him as he rounded the corner of Kame House to find his furry little friend. It had been raining for weeks and everyone was starting to go a little stir crazy. Even though the island they lived on for the moment was small, they all appreciated being able to go outside and play in the sea once in a while. Though almost all of them wanted to stay indoors while the rain bucketed it down and the waves crashed against their tiny shore. But not Puar. She'd regularly make excuses to go outside in the driving rain, stand outside for about five minutes and then come back, a soaking wet ball of fur. None of the group could understand her motives and when questioned as to what she was doing or asked if they could join her, she'd clam right up and talk about something else.

"Yamcha!" Puar squeaked as she was caught red handed. The tiny cat-thing was huddled under the corner of the roof around the back of Kame House and she was holding a cigarette between her tiny little paws. If smoking weren't so dangerous to her health then Yamcha would have outright laughed at the sight of her. Her fir was plastered to her tiny body and her attempt at staying dry was pitiful. Not to mention the cigarette needed to be held with both of her tiny paws for her to even get a decent grip on it. The cigarette was nearly as long as she was, if you discounted her tail.

"You're coming out here to smoke?" not even Yamcha could have foreseen this outcome. When the group had noticed Puar's odd behaviour they had just let her be for a while. But eventually it became obvious that whatever she was doing she wasn't going to tell them what was going on and she wasn't going to stop any time soon. Fearing for Puar's physical health, what with her standing out in the freezing cold rain, they'd selected Yamcha to go out and spy on his best friend. Speak to her if he could.

"I can explain Yamcha!" she started.

Yamcha didn't even let her begin her explanation "Everyone's been worried sick about you Puar, always coming out in the rain and coming back in soaked. You're going to make yourself ill and that's just from the cold! You know how dangerous it is to smoke don't you?" he asked her sharply.

Puar hung her head in shame as she stubbed out the cigarette and floated back towards Yamcha "I have a good reason, I swear!" she tried but Yamcha was having none of it.

"I'm sure you do have a good reason for coming out here in the middle of one of the worst storms we've ever known to fill your lungs with poison! Though I think if the explanation is that good, then everyone deserves to hear it!" with that he grabbed Puar by her tiny little paw and dragged her back into Kame house.

As the door swung open the whole group dashed from where they had their ears pressed to the outer wall to sit back around the table as they had before Yamcha left to follow Puar. None of them managed to get back to their various activities in time to stop Yamcha from seeing them move but he was too furious to care.

"Guess what our little friend has really been doing when she goes out into the storm?" he raged as Bulma handed him a towel to dry off and he resumed his place at the table.

Puar looked ashamed of herself as she floated down to a seat by the table with the others "It's no big deal..." she started but Yamcha cut her off.

"I think you'll find it is a big deal Puar when you're putting your life in danger like that!" Yamcha snapped.

Roshi was the first to speak up "Well, out with it boy, what exactly has she been doing that's so dangerous?"

Launch was just as curious "Yea' out with it!" she demanded as she paused briefly from cleaning the gun in her grasp.

Bulma chipped in trying to be the voice of reason as usual "I'm sure whatever it is she didn't mean to worry anyone. Especially not you Yamcha. Isn't that right Puar?" she tried to soothe as she placed a hand on her boyfriend's arm.

Although she knew the others were curious and that Bulma was trying to help her, all Puar could think about was the fact that she'd upset Yamcha "I'm so sorry Yamcha! I have a good reason, I told you! I swear!" she tried.

Unimpressed, Yamcha snorted "Oh yeah? And what good reason do you have for smoking, Puar?" he demanded.

"Oh my!" Master Roshi said in surprise as the reason behind Puar's mysterious habits had been revealed.

Oolong looked up from the dirty manga comic he'd been pretending to read "You? Smoking? Goody two shoes Puar has been sneaking out during a raging storm to have a cigarette?" he couldn't believe it. She'd always been so good in school.

"I-I said I had a good reason!" she piped up yet again.

Bulma had begun to scowl but Launch beat her to it "Bet you did it to look cool right?" she said with a smirk.

That set Bulma off entirely "It isn't cool to smoke Launch! Puar, you're putting your health at so much risk and you're hurting those who care for you... why would you pick up such a filthy habit?" she demanded.

Yamcha joined in again before Puar had a chance to explain herself "Let's here this good reason then shall we?" he demanded yet again.

Taking a big breath, Puar finally came out with it "Wherever I go people flinch when they hear me speak! Even you, Yamcha!" she was beginning to shout as she felt tears welling up in her eyes "Everyone hates my high, squeaky voice and I hate it to...!"

"Ah, I can see where this is going..." mused Roshi mused as he let Puar continue.

"S-so I decided to do something about it." she explained "I've heard so many people say that they hate smoking but love the gravely voice it gives to people who smoke. I just wanted to sound normal!" she wailed as she started to cry at full force, sounding squeakier than ever.

No one knew what to say for a moment. The whole table sat in silence as Puar sobbed as hard as she could.

It was Yamcha who finally found his voice "Puar, I... I don't know what to say. I honestly didn't know you felt that way..."

Bulma took over as her boyfriend struggled to get his feeling across, she didn't want them getting _too_ close to one another after all "Puar we all love you the way you are. And yeah, sometimes it is a bit... tricky to hear you speak but we all have big faults like that which none of us can help. Yet despite those faults we love one another anyway. It's the same with you."

Yamcha managed to get his thoughts together once more "Exactly! You may be difficult to be around when we have a headache but we'll always love you Puar. Just the way you are right now. You certainly don't need to put your health at risk for something so trivial. If it really bothers you though, then we'll find another way Puar. We'll do everything we can to reassure and support you." he comforted her.

"Oh, Yamcha!" she cried as she flew across the table and into Yamcha's loving arms. Much to Bulma's annoyance.

Launch nodded her approval "That's the way to do it!" she said.

Roshi stood and made a move towards the kitchen area of the house "Now that that's sorted, how about a nice cup of tea everyone!" he wondered off without waiting for any answers to go boil the kettle.

"But wait..." piped up Oolong "How ever did she manage to light those cigarettes...?"

THE END


End file.
